To (Most) Single LDS Men

I recently tried out eHarmony for the first time and would now like to share with you what happened and what I learned.  For those of you surprised to hear the news it is due to the fact that I did not want to tell people I joined an online dating website.  In the past I've had a number of friends tell me that I should try it out, my response had always been, 'That's not for me, but maybe I'll consider it when I get kicked out of the singles ward.'  And here I am. I've been attending the family ward for almost a year so when a good friend of mine mentioned she had just signed up I agreed to do it with her.  I decided a 3 month membership would be enough time to get a feel for how things worked and would then make a choice to continue my membership or not.

After answering what seemed like endless questions about myself and my personality I was then asked to rate how strong I felt regarding certain characteristics of potential matches.  Feeling passionate about my faith I indicated that all of my matches should be Latter-Day Saint (Mormon) men.  The website recommends starting out slow.  For example I would start communicating by sending 5 preset questions to matches I am interested in getting to know a little better.

As matches began to roll in I found myself a little shy as I was still learning how eHarmony works.  I did not send questions to matches right away.  My first communication was about 5 days into my membership and with a guy named Jonathan from CA who sent me his 5 questions.  Once I had this first communication on the website I realized just how casual and easy it is to make that first step.  At this point I decided I was going to get my money's worth so I sent my 5 questions to every match I received.  Every one.

For 2 and a half months I did this and never once received a response back from any of those guys.  Not one.  Jonathan remained the only guy who ever communicated with me on the site.  By this time I decided it had been a waste of my money and I would not be renewing my membership with them.

Then a thought occurred to me and I acted on it.  I went into my settings and changed one thing: I indicated a potential match could be of any religious belief.

The next morning came and I received my matches.  As usual I glanced through the profile and sent my 5 questions on to each of them.  On the second day I was already communicating with a couple guys.  Wow.  By the end of the week I had to go back into my settings and change it again because I was overwhelmed with the number of guys communicating with me that I did not have time to respond to all of them.  Again, wow.

How would you react if this happened to you?  My initial response: severe irritation at all LDS men.  I was ready to find the closest one and give him a piece of my mind.

I've had a few weeks to think it over and quite frankly I'm still irritated.

I've never been a girl that dates a lot, although I've had a few boyfriends here and there.  At times in my life there has been as much as 2 years between men asking me on a date.  Being an LDS single woman in my 30's I've had many opportunities to talk with and get to know other amazing single women in the church.  As I've done so I've been comforted and annoyed to find many other women in the same dating boat as me.  "Why don't guys notice me?" and "why do I never get asked out?" have been common questions asked by friends and myself.  Sometimes the questions are asked with frustration, sometimes it's barely audible between sobs.

In the world we live in it is all too easy to fall prey to Satan's lies.  He constantly tells daughters of God they aren't good enough, they aren't pretty enough, they aren't worth a man's notice.  Women, these are lies.  I know these are lies and yet even I have had times when I believed them.  Why shouldn't I believe it when Satan tells me I'm not worth a guys notice?  I have the evidence right in front of me: the last man to ask me out was a year and a half ago and he is now happily married to someone else.

EHarmony taught me this is not true, I am worth a man's notice.  There are men who do want to get to know me.  And there are men in the world who do actually ask girls out on a date.

This leaves the questions: what is wrong with LDS men?  Why don't they ask girls out?  I do not have an answer, although I am sure I've heard every possible theory on this from women who want to know.

In reality there is not a lot wrong with LDS men.  Most of the single guys I know are quality men, ones I look up to, respect and confide in.  It's just this one little thing.  Perhaps each of them has their own special little excuse for not asking girls out.  But that's just it--it's an excuse.

To (most) single LDS men I say it is time to start acting like a proper man.  No more excuses.  Just do it.

Birthday Dinner Party

This week I hosted a small dinner party in celebration of my birthday.  I am officially 32 years old and up until this week I had never thrown a proper dinner party.  I like to use the excuse of my birthday to do pretty much anything I want to.  Sometimes it's skydiving, sometimes it's a trip to Hawaii, sometimes it's a formal black and white dinner party in my back yard.

There is a lot of planning involved in a dinner party.  There was the guest list.  I'm sorry I could not invite everyone I care about and wanted to invite.  Then there was the menu, I needed an experts opinion on this one so I called my sister Merry, the dragon tamer and mother extraordinaire, she helped me find exactly what I wanted.

The Menu
Provençal Lamb, baked with fresh tomatoes, rosemary, thyme, drizzled with honey
New Potatoes with Lemon and Saffron
Fresh Steamed Asparagus with Butter and Sea Salt
Artisan Bread
Italian Cream Sodas, available flavors Raspberry, Irish Cream, Pomegranate, French Vanilla
Dessert: Blueberry-Peach Upside-Down Cake

I am proud to say I made everything completely from scratch.  I even chopped up the fresh rosemary sprigs (no bottled spices here!).

the lamb just before it went into the oven

Then there was the decorations. My friend Shannon gave me the idea of doing a Black and White theme, which I loved.  My friend Tasha ran wild with this theme and started sending me ideas of things we could do.  Both of them helped to make the decorations ahead of time.  

we made tissue paper puff balls

we made string balls by dipping it in glue and starch and wrapping it around a balloon to dry

these string balls were attached together for a hanging chandelier above the table

we made smaller tissue paper puff balls for the napkin holders

Several other decorations were donated by my sisters Melanie and Sandie, both of which made excellent suggestions for things I could do with this B&W theme.

And then there was the mishap.  No proper party will happen exactly according to plan, right?  We have, or rather I should say had, an old wooden table in our backyard.  We use it for food when we eat outside but mostly it sits there covered by a tarp to protect it from mother nature.  I made an attempt to move the table and it seemed a little weird, so I decided it best to wait for my brothers help.  Once Tommy arrived we agreed it would be best to lift the table by its legs to move it.  The very moment we picked up the table the entire thing fell to pieces.  I mean it shattered.  It was actually rather laughable and I wish I would have thought to snap a picture of the pile of table parts before we hauled it away.  Luckily Tommy had enough foresight to make a tabletop for his Senior project about 5 years ago.  He pulled the legs off the broken table and nailed them into the new tabletop and voilà, a table was made.  Thanks for saving my party Tommy!

To fancy things up a bit my handsome brother Tommy and his beautiful and clever wife Carly came to be our servers for the evening.  They helped with the set up, ran errands for me, served the food, ran the Italian soda bar, and generally looked really good in their black and white outfits.

I pulled out and polished the silver for this special occasion.  I happen to love silver and have inherited a few beautiful pieces from both of my grandmothers that were in use for this night.

the silver water pitcher

With the small table incident we were running a little behind schedule and were not quite ready when my guests arrived.  It didn't matter as I have fabulous friends who all jumped right in and helped out.  We quickly had things pulled together and finally sat down to eat.  

Shannon pouring the water

As the dinner progressed the sun slowly vanished letting the twinkle lights and tea lights shine brighter to create a beautiful ambiance.  This was enhanced with the handsome voice of Josh Groban singing soft music in the background. 

*almost every photo by Tasha.

I learned a lot about throwing a party.  I learned that it's terribly fun to do, but in doing everything that needs to be done I wore myself out and was pretty tired by the time I finally got to sit down and eat.  Still I'm glad I did it and enjoyed how it turned out.  Thanks to my friends who were able to make it and celebrate with me.  

2 Years Ago Today

Tonight was one of those nights that happened all wrong.  Nothing I wanted to happen actually happened.  Instead what I wanted to not happen, happened.

But then I came home and wondered around facebook for a time.  Have you noticed they've started re-posting your old posts from years ago along the right side?  Exactly 2 years ago today I posted,

"Windy saw the entire island of Kauai and all it's beauty from the seat of a helicopter with NO DOORS and a humorous Italian pilot."

And I had to smile.  It felt nice to smile.  That was an amazing day.

Post Graduate Adventures

You might have mistakenly assumed that I would have more time to blog now that I am done with Grad school.  The truth is I'm far too busy playing to do such things.

Here are a few of the highlights from the last month, in no particular order.

• I bought my first TV! Flat screen, 42'' plasma. 
• Finished reading Lavinia, and started 3 more books: Sherlock Holmes, The Lost Hero, and The Well of Ascension.
• Had Indian Curry with Shannon, Sarah, and Drew.  Mmm mmm!
• Took a ferry ride.

• Attended 2 wedding receptions.
• Tasha made me a delicious keish breakfast.
• Joined Google+.
• Saw a car show.

• Had brunch with JMoney.
• I bought a Lady Gaga song off iTunes. So uncharacteristic of me, yet I can't stop listening to it. (Or rather, I can't stop dancing around to it).
• Got thoroughly sunburned on the 4th while attending a parade/street fair with friends.

• Had countless movie nights at Derek's or Erica's or my own digs (now that I have a TV!!).
• Had lunch with Shannon at this fabulous Taiwanese Dumplings place in Bellevue called Din Tai Fung.
• Saw Green Lantern with my nephew, was surprised at how much I enjoyed it.
• Absolutely loved Midnight in Paris, X-Men: First Class, and Transformers: Dark of the Moon.
• Went to a few BBQ's, one on Bainbridge Island on the 4th, one at a friends house last night, and another with Erica.
• Went to Karaoke with some friends, first time in several years. I sang two songs: Britney Spears and Sublime.
• Celebrated Brad's birthday with a Chinese dinner and movie.
• I've made a couple new friends as well as saw some old friends.

• I might have shamelessly flirted with a few of them.
• Attended my first Mariner's game of the year with Josh.

And most important of all: I've laughed. Laughed hard enough to snort. A few times.

Dear Wen,

You may not remember me, but I remember you.  Perhaps I can refresh your memory.  It was the summer of 2004 and you had been learning how to salsa dance.  I was out for an evening of dancing with my friend Andrea, who was visiting from out of town for the week.  You asked me to dance that night at Beso del Sol in Seattle.  We danced several dances and you taught me a little of what you had been learning.  You bought me a drink and we talked for a while.  You were handsome and funny and I enjoyed every moment.  That night you gave me your number after I did not give you mine.  I’m writing today to tell you I’m sorry I never called—you see, I had a boyfriend at the time and could not.  This particular boyfriend and I did not last all that long, but when I was available again enough time had passed that I did not bother to call you.  I sometimes considered going to Century Ballroom for their salsa lessons in the hope that I would run into you there.  I should have.  I should have called you.  You were great.

This last weekend I found the card you wrote your name and number on for me.  I’ve kept it all these years to remind myself to take a few more chances.  To live my life so that in later years I would never look back and regret missing out on an opportunity to live.

Thank you for our one evening of dancing.

Love,
Windy Dawn

P.S.  Years have passed and I do not know where your life has taken you, but if you are still single I would very much like to go dancing with you again.

Finally Done

I did it!  After 3 long years of part time school I finally graduated with my Master of Science in Applied Mathematics.  WAAHOOOO!

Would you believe no one brought a proper camera?  My mother (of all people) couldn't find her camera when we left early this morning.  My friends assumed my mom would have her camera so we only have cell phone photos.  Thank goodness for cell phones!  My dad managed to snag a short video of me receiving my diploma.

I did not attend the huge UW ceremony with 12,000 other graduates, instead it was a small department celebration with about 200 people.  As usual it was memorable.  While our Graduate Program Advisor was calling names mine was accidentally skipped.  After the last one I had to raise my hand and inform him he skipped me.  It was all pretty funny.  Turns out 2 others got skipped as well.  It made me laugh.

Here are a few pictures from my mom's iPhone of the festivities today.  Most of my family live far and could not attend, however my parents came along with my sister Sandie and her son.

My apologies for the silly looking pictures. I have this super awesome nephew, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named-Online, whose father has insisted no pictures should appear on the internet.

A few of my good friends came to celebrate with me.  Thanks for coming!

The faculty and masters students from the Applied Math department.

For those who may not have received an announcement from me (I had a limited number of them) you can see one below.  A big thanks to my friend Tasha for doing the pictures for me!  Well, she did all of them except for the one of my feet, I admit I did that one all by myself.  

front

back

The Miracle of Sight

I rarely forget just how wonderful a thing it is to see.  I am reminded of it each evening when I take out my contacts and then wonder where I put my glasses.  I always do it in that order.  You'd think I would have learned to locate my glasses before removing my contacts, but no, I haven't.

Windy Dawn, age 3

I have a number of things wrong with my eyes and have had to wear glasses my whole life. When I was younger I would take them off and leave them in random places because I hated wearing them.  Hated having them on my face.  As you might have guessed, this drove my parents nuts as I could never remember were I left them.

Windy Dawn, age 31

I've learned to enjoy my glasses now as they allow me to see things that others see.  Although I still do not like having them on my face and typically wear contacts instead.  The above picture was taken an hour ago, just after I picked up my new glasses at Costco.  I still don't wear them in public all that often but I do get excited about my new glasses.  It's a new prescription and with them I can see.  Not only do I get to see, but I get to pick out cute frames.  That makes me happy.

Manna from Heaven

I don't feel all that integrated into my new ward yet.  Ok, I can't really say new ward as I've been here for 6 months now.  Just this Sunday while sitting all alone on the bench I thought to myself about how I don't even have visiting teachers or home teachers who visit me.  I did have some really great visiting teachers for the first few months, but they were reassigned and I've not known the identities of the new ones.  My home teachers have as yet to surface.

Then Monday came, a holiday.  I worked this holiday as it was the only time I had available to offer so many students extra hours and make-up hours before their final exams just around the corner.  While I was away one of my new visiting teachers stopped by with a treat for me.  Wahoo!  I cannot tell a lie, I do love getting treats.

I had a piece of this tasty confection today and found it to be most delicious.  It is exactly like I imagine manna sent from heaven would taste like (and it is sent from heaven, through my visiting teacher). Thank you Sister K. for the amazing delicacy, I've not met you yet, but I think we should be friends.

RE: NOTICE OF PENDING LEGAL INQUIRY OR ACTION

Subject: This is a reminder.

Dear Mr. Aaron M.,

It has come to our attention that you are in the possession of one video of Matthew W. and that you have failed to post this particular video on his blog.  These actions are unacceptable.  However they will be forgivable as now the above mentioned video has a unique opportunity to be part of a natal day celebration.

To fully atone for keeping said video to yourself you are required to deliver the goods to a Miss Windy Dawn as soon as possible.  Should you fail to meet these demands you risk having Windy’s Wrath turned on you.  You do not want this.  You will comply.  

Sincerely,

Miss Windy Dawn

The Keeper of the Blog-Chronicles

______________________________________________________

Subject: RE: NOTICE OF PENDING LEGAL INQUIRY OR ACTION (was: This is a reminder.)

Dear Miss Dawn,

I received your communication regarding the video depicting the actions of one M. W., a mutually shared acquaintance. I regret to inform you that I have been unable to identify the exact video in question as I am in the possession of no fewer than seven (7) videos recorded on the evening of March 4, 2011 which depict the said M. W. engaged in various acts of frolic and elaboration. As such, I have taken the liberty of collecting all said videos and posting them at the location listed below for your perusal. It is hoped that the material sought after may be located among these specimens for inclusion in the natal day festivities.

As an explicit timeline was not provided for the invocation of Windy's Wrath in consequence of non-response to your injunction, I will rest my case on the implication that 'as soon as possible' necessarily grants the defendant, myself, the right to determine the extent to which earlier compliance may or may not have been 'possible' and therefore affirm that my compliance has indeed conformed to the parameters specified given the presence of other pressing obligations in the time following receipt of the injunction and preceding execution of this compliance. I concur with the assertion that the angular motion of Windy's Wrath directed at my person would be undesirable to all affected parties and expect that the referenced demands are met to avoid this occurrence. I object however to the implication that my compliance in this matter in any way reflects an affinity for or tendency toward the acquiesence of will demonstrated by that collective known as the Borg. My compliance in this instance is wholly voluntary and does not confer future rights &c.

Most respectfully,
Aaron M.

______________________________________________________

The result of the above email correspondences can be found here.

Nervous

Thursday is a big day for me.  I will be presenting all my research on Reversible Dynamical Systems at the Masters Symposium and I'm not exactly ready yet.  I've spent the last month or so doing nothing but this and I'm just about burnt out.  I dread Thursday and at the same time I can't wait for it to get here so this will be over with already.

What are Reversible Dynamics?  Oh, I'm glad you asked.  A simple answer can be given with the example of a pendulum.  Consider the ideal swinging pendulum with no loss of energy due to friction.  Film this phenomenon.  Then play the video backwards (in reverse time) and it will appear exactly the same.  The idea is that the motion on the reverse film also corresponds to a possible motion of the same pendulum.

I can do this.  I am not nervous.

...deep breaths...